Recently I read a piece on Facebook about how when you become a parent you need to sacrifice for your
kids. The piece said 'you are being selfish by needing alone time' and 'that you chose to have children, and they didn't ask to be here'.
There were other parts but you can understand the message in the article.
To be honest, I was really triggered.
Reading that I was taking something away from my babies, by doing something for myself made me feel so guilty and made me question whether I was a good mum, or were my babies missing out on something because I was being selfish.
I really thought on the guilt I experienced and realised that the point of the article was to trigger emotions in some people.
It also reminded me that we all parent differently.
I firmly believe that all mothers makes their decisions based on what they think is best for their child and they act out of the love they hold (there are obvious excepts to the rules, but we won't visit those women here). Just because these decisions don't align with the ones you would make doesn't make them better or worse, they're just made by someone else.
For a different mum this piece would have validated the choices she makes, and given her a maybe much needed confidence boost.
I decided that piece was not written for, but for a different mum.
I am a better mum when I have some space. My girls are absolutely not missing out on anything because I am able to give them so much more when I am with them.
But you spending every second with and on your children makes you a better mum too.
Neither of us are a better mum than the other, we are just better mums for our babies.
My biggest message is always do what works for you.
If that's taking you time, then power to you.
If it's giving your babies everything until they're grown, then power to you.
I'd love to know if you think this email would have triggered you too, or if you feel like it would have given you a little boost!
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